Rape: Pointing the finger

In a society increasingly insensitive to victims of rape, this month saw one of the most shocking revelations yet – according to an Amnesty International poll, nearly half of Northern Irish students consider a woman to blame for her own rape if she has been flirting. Holding women responsible for rape is a growing phenomenon, shifting the stigma away from the perpetrators, and creating a culture that makes rape much harder to report.

Most reported rapes are linked to alcohol consumption. What is not often considered is who it is that supplies the alcohol and why. A drunk woman is hardly the most attractive catch. The “ladette” culture of the nineties has left a generation of young girls who are confused about alcohol, its dangers, and its effects.

As a society we have denied responsible behaviour in both sexes and now we have to face the consequences. But we ignore at our peril the fact that men know women won’t get a fair hearing if they were drunk. All too often, she will feel guilty and the rapist will win; the conviction rate for Scottish rape cases stands at less than two per cent.

Women’s clothing is often said to be responsible for “leading men on.” The dilemma is, do you follow fashion, fashion often created by men, or do you do your own thing? Do you copy celebrity and celebrity behaviour or are you the odd one out?

What is clear is that girls are only being given half a message – that you wear what you like. What they are not being told is that although they should have the choice in what they wear, that there is a risk in wearing some clothing.

Media that promote tight, revealing clothing don’t carry a health and safety warning; and those within the celebrity culture don’t get photographed with their body guards in tow. But you can guarantee they are there. We deceive each other and wonder why women get hurt.

A new poster campaign by Rape Crisis Scotland has the right idea, featuring photographs of sexily-dressed women alongside the slogan: “This is not an invitation to rape me."

“The biggest hurdle we face is changing people’s attitudes towards rape,” the organisation's national coordinator Sandy Brindley said recently. “It is clear from research that we have some work to do to towards this.” There is indeed a mountain to climb. But this blunt approach had a big impact when it was tried in Canada, and one hopes that it will be equally successful in Scotland.

But these issues have to be seen in the light of rapists’ beliefs. Those who rape seem to feel they have a divine right to satisfy their own desires, irrespective of the views of others. They have a need to abuse power and a desire to humiliate. They claim that they were “led on,” that “she was up for it,” that “it got out of hand,” rather than admit that they planned the abuse, that they were going to have sex at any cost, and if that meant forcing the situation that the need justified the action.

It is time to take responsibility for our actions, and re-learn how to respect. Choice is not an optional extra in any relationship, and rape is not a woman’s fantasy. Rape is a violent act, an abusive act and one that leaves victims devastated. It is inexcusable to compound this by leaving them feeling to blame.