The Rumour mill

Like the fearful writhings of a dying beast, the rectorial campaign at the University of Edinburgh has, in passing, delivered one final slash at the guts of the contest’s loser. The slowing revolutions of rectorial rumour mill herald news that the conquering hero, Iain Macwhirter has temporarily upped sticks and swanned off to the warmer climes of Egypt. George Foulkes, meanwhile, has followed up his unsuccessful campaign with no such glamour. Last week, the seventy year-old posted the following item on his twitter page: “Off to Tynecastle in the morning with Lord Low and the RNIB.” Bless.

But it is the presidential candidates who, with limited decorum, have now snatched the limelight. In a development which has failed to catch either insiders or onlookers by surprise, the race for pole position has, it seems, already become bitchy. Liz Rawlings was the first to smart from a brush with the sharp end of Thomas Graham’s tongue last week: pasting up posters for her campaign, Rawlings was allegedly approached by the Labour candidate who struck out with, “Oh, it’s a degree better; is that what it is?”. The attack comes as a clever play on Rawlings’ slogan “a degree better.”

On an equally catty side note, those hunting for information on Liz Rawlings would be forgiven for using google as a first port of call. They’d be unwise to do so: the first page entry—linking to to a Liz Rawlings Facebook profile—offers little information on the prospective candidate, but does provide a stirling lesson in how frightfully good the internet is in offering up exactly what one least expects.

That’s not to say Liz’s web page isn’t worth the visit: one campaign photo features the green-minded would-be popping paper into a recycling bin. Given claims published here a fortnight ago that hundreds of copies of The Student mysteriously found their way into the trash, the former editor’s choice for recycling—EUSA’s own election guide—is an inspired gaffe.

In other gaffes, put-down king Thomas Graham has been bigging himself up heavily, if not altogether successfully. His claim that he “created studentflatfinder.com” has been puzzled over by some – not least those who voted for Josh MacAlister in 2007, who ran on a platform of having created the site himself. A veritable whodunnit indeed.

Since taking a piece of fencing to the foot earlier this month—not to mention being incorrectly branded the Conservative club’s candidate by this column—Oliver Mundell appears to have been keeping himself out of mischief thus far. This is, perhaps, little surprise: with a ferocious top speed of 4mph, Mundell’s mobility scooter is unlikely to have him gambolling across campus to put up his own posters – so leaving him relatively safe from the threat of Graham’s vicious jibes, one assumes. He has, however, found time to produce a snappy election video, backed by Jackson Brown’s ‘Running on empty’. The piece was used by Bill Clinton in the ‘91 primary season to grease the wheels of the Arkansas governor’s astonishing comeback. Was it not Marx who once said: “history repeats itself, the first time as tragedy, the second as farce”?

Aspirations towards balanced and equally weighted mischief-making ought really to ensure that this column devotes equal column inches to relative outsiders like presidential hopeful James Rodger. This is unlikely to happen: Rodger’s campaign so far has amounted to the setting up of a Facebook group which asks EUSA incumbents and the current presidential candidates to magically set aside their political affiliations for the duration of their time in service of the student body. His failure to invite either Liz Rawlings, Thomas Graham or candidate number five, Benedict Robbins, has, so far, limited the impact of the endeavour. Beyond that, persistent digging has uncovered scant detail regarding the goings on of Elect Rodger ‘09. According to one source extremely close to EUSA goings on: “he turned up in a suit to some things.”

However one dresses, though, one ought to be wary of entering into the business of predicting election results. That proviso aside, Benedict Robbins isn’t going to win this one. The character has undoubtedly provided cause for much excitement among the chattering EUSA classes since his announcement on nomination deadlin day. A deeply spiritual chap, a rumour has been doing the rounds that Robbins was privileged enough to receive a visitation from God on Wednesday, who suggested that he run for president of the students’ association. Atheists can be so cruel.

But while most commentators—and most voters—will probably write the aforementioned visionary off, Robbins is perhaps noteworthy for having made the most startlingly honest contribution to this election’s chatter and campaigning so far. As he told The Journal last week. “I am not perfect, I’ve made countless mistakes.”

“Verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth,” says the Good Book. EUSA candidates, go in peace.