Let's get high

In recent years there has been a steady and somewhat unsettling rise in the height of females. It has been suggested that this may be based on a continuing war between women with regards to heel height. Leading male figures across the world are being dwarfed by their ladies of choice, and have taken steps to rectify the problem. The male shoe is becoming progressively more 'badass'; boots are becoming a staple of any masculine wardrobe and Cuban heels are striding forth from many a famous fashion house and making their way to the high street. Against the masculine norm though this may be, one must adapt in order for any semblance of dignity to be maintained against the frighteningly tall and imposing females of our times.

For the majority of men a flat shoe will have always been the footwear of choice, due perhaps to the limited range and style of heeled shoes for men, but times are changing. Taking measurements from various shoe stores, the product is on the climb. There are now biker boots with roughly an inch and a half of heel in Office, or cowboy boots and Cuban-heeled ankle boots in various footwear shops on Princes Street with more. One may unearth old cowboy boots from vintage shops that reach as high as two and a half. For those with a real yearning for height and a more expansive budget there are shoes stocked in Selfridges that reach the lofty height of three inches. And for the most dedicated and enthusiastic, there is a hardcore elite of men personally taking on the escalating female foot. Online retailer Archie Eyebrows produces shoes for men that can be found matching most platform heels at almost five inches, but I am informed that for the average male with a low-slung pelvis this may border on dangerous.

This rising trend should somewhat even the playing field; after all, give the average man a two inch lift and he’s probably hitting six foot tall, and thus just escaping the average female in five inch heels. A potentially devastating blow to worldwide male self esteem, narrowly avoided.