Let's be civil about this

I’m getting married next year.

Well, I say 'married' - that’s not strictly true. According to the Marriage (Scotland) Act 1997, marriage is defined as between a man and a woman and prohibits same-sex unions. So while my fiancée and I will get many of the legal perks of a marriage, we’ll have to settle for what many believe is second best.

Since 2005 gay couples have been allowed to legally register their relationship and qualify for virtually the same benefits available to heterosexual couples, but there’s still a big difference in the eyes of society. While LGBT people view the introduction of civil partnership as a huge step forward, most do not consider it to be equality. In a detailed survey of 430 LGBT people conducted at the end of 2009 by the Equality Network, 85 per cent said the law should be changed to open up marriage to couples regardless of gender. The same percentage rated this as a priority issue.

It’s not just the gays that are fighting for their right to be wed. Many heterosexual couples are angry that inequality in legislation means that they can’t choose to be civilly-partnered - thought that is perhaps a less catchy term than ‘married’.

Just one of those couples are Tom Freeman and Katherine Doyle, who are taking their case all the way to the European Court of Human Rights. But why would a straight couple want a civil partnership? As Ms Doyle explains: “The division between civil marriage and civil partnership reflects a division, or a perception of division in society. As it stands, it regards straight couples as different to gay couples, and that’s not right.”

Mr Freeman, meanwhile, says: “Often when a gay couple is mentioned in the press, the word ‘husband’ is used to refer to one or other of the partners. The implication being that it’s not a ‘real’ husband.” Those inverted commas are the bane of my life. But it’s not as simple as removing the punctuation, or even coming up with another word for a husband or wife. Hilary Third from the Scottish Government Equality Unit told me in 2009 that equal marriage was a long way off. Why? If the legal rights are pretty much the same, then what’s in a name?

Quite a lot, it seems. More than simply amending a document, allowing equal marriage in Scotland would cause a constitutional nightmare, according to the government. Although marriage is a devolved issue, they say changes would have to be made at national level to allow Scottish couples equal marriage rights including changes to immigration, pensions and inheritance law.

Last week, the Equality and Human Rights Commission Scotland hosted a symposium in Edinburgh to discuss the ongoing equal marriage campaign, with many delegates arguing that the best way forward would be to push through a bill in Scotland to bring the country in line with others such as Norway, Spain and Portugal who already allow same-sex marriage - effectively leaving England behind.

Kaliani Lyle, Commissioner from the Equality and Human Rights Commission Scotland said: “As with Section 28, Scotland has the opportunity to lead the way in terms of legislative foresight and equality, and the Commission will continue to support such development.” The Equality Network say they hope the issue will be debated in the next Parliament, with the Scottish Liberal Democrats and Green Party backing the principle of one union regardless of gender mix, while several Labour and SNP MSPs have also pledged their support to the campaign.

Leader of the Greens, Patrick Harvie MSP said: “There has been dramatic progress in recent years toward family law which recognises the equality of same-sex relationships, but the job clearly isn’t complete yet. Civil partnership has been a huge step forward, but there are still those who regard anything other than marriage as having a second class status. I always saw civil partnership as something which should be open to mixed-sex or same-sex couples on equal terms, and I can’t see any reason why marriage shouldn’t be the same.”

Tim Hopkins, director of the Equality Network said: “Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are still discriminated against by the law in a way no other group is. It would be thought completely unacceptable if any other minority was singled out and told they can't get married, but must have a separate status called civil partnership instead.

“Same-sex couples say: 'Will you marry me?' just like any other couple. The law should recognise that commitment and treat us all the same.” When my fiancée put a ring on my finger, she didn’t ask me to 'merge our tax affairs'. She asked me to marry her. Love isn’t gendered, and neither should marriage be. I’ll leave the government to iron out the constitutional headaches - I’ve got a wedding to plan.